Friday, March 7, 2008

The Trouble with Gnomes.

James Van West has been ripping me off for years!

I can’t quite remember how I first ran across James’s work. I’m thinking that I somehow saw the cover to the Pan-Gea book published by APE Entertainment. That image has always stayed with me. I knew right from the first glance that this dude knows Da’ Bode’. I’m not talking about just inspired doodling like the man; I’m talking about “KNOWING” Da’ Bode’. There’s a big difference, you know but, I’ll save that rant for another day. Instantly, I became a fan of James’s work.

Now as I began to visit James’s world, I had started to notice something familiar.

Yeah, that’s right…this guy is ripping me off! I look at Pan-Gea and say to myself, “Hey, that’s my world he’s playing in!” I look at Red Path and I’m like, “Dude, I was going to do that!” Are you getting the picture here? So, it wasn’t long before I was on to Mr. Van West’s game. He has trained gnomes. I’m not kidding. They’re trained to suck ideas out of your brain while you sleep. Call me crazy if you will but, I have proof.

I hit the sheets one night. I’m thinking about this great space fantasy I want to put together. Yeah, this’ll be fun; it’s gonna’ rock. I roll over to ponder more and then it’s lights-out. I awake the next morning, wipe the drool away and I can’t seem to remember that brilliant idea I had been conjuring up during the night. Damn! So I wander over to James’s empire on the web to see if there’s something I can steal and low and behold…ZOA!

Trained-creative-thought-sucking-mind-gnomes…need I say more. I’m on to you James!

In case my point is missed…I’m a big Van West fan. We breathe the same air. And if there’s one thing that really…eh…really …shit.

Damn gnomes!

Play nice.


  1. Blast! They're on to us, my gruesome little festering blithertoads.

    But it's ok. Furtado's brain has been picked clean, mined like a cheap strip of Eastern Kentucky hillside and now we must abandon that ruined crater like a $1.50 brothel slut after a long night of piss ale and hot wings.

    Bwah hahaahaaa!

    (You know, I love ya, dude.)

  2. That's a sweet little drawing of Fawn, by the way. I miss drawing her.

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  4. Yes, the gnomes live behind our entertainment center. They are gods to the dust bunny colonies that reside there. They are evil little things with a penchant to steal socks and empty ice trays.

  5. Don't give away our secrets! Blast you!


    (deleted comment was a duplicate, no posters were harmed in the deleting of the duplicate comment)